Of all the major American sports (please don’t talk to me about soccer), our national pastime of baseball is the one that is most often saddled with the “boring” tag. And even amongst those who actually enjoy baseball quite a bit, there is a fair number of us who don’t particularly like watching baseball on television. But at the ballpark… well it’s a whole different ballgame.

The Lowell Spinners kick it up a notch though, in that you not only don’t have to like watching baseball to enjoy the game, but you don’t have to enjoy sports at all. It’s probably actually to your detriment if you are serious about the game at hand. Whereas at a normal baseball game there will be the occasional song between batters, at a Spinners game some evil genius is playing Jim Carrey movie quotes and the like after every single pitch. After every three outs, some sort of additional antics will ensue. Wacky sumo wrestling? Sub eating contest? A frisbee catching dog? Rubber chickens getting thrown into the stands? A toothbrush named Bristles running around the bases and brushing them off? Yep, all that and more. And on any given night the Spinners might be running an insane promotion like the “Human Home Run” where a man is fired out of a cannon from home plate over the right field fence, or slightly more troubling promotions like the one where they attempt to break the world record for most people simultaneously flossing in one place at the same time, or the “Cowboy Monkey Rodeo Night” where monkeys in cowboy outfits will be riding around on dogs with saddles (yes this is real and happening on Tuesday, July 19).

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to attend the second Spinners game of the seaon in style; I won tickets to a luxury suite at LeLacheur park. I scrapped together a crew and drove to Lowell and awkwardly told someone in the box office that I had won their Facebook contest and was relieved when the guy actually knew what I was talking about. We were ushered over to the “Gator Pit” to eat some medicore but free food. Then we headed up to our suite, directly behind home plate, a small room with some chairs, a table full of official programs (a one dollar value, each) and a small basket of flowers from a local florist, and a fridge full of bottled water and sodas. A few moments later a Spinners representative came into the room to let us know that we could have as much water and soda as we liked, and if we wanted any beer, fried dough, etc. that she would take our order and bring it too us. No waiting on lines for concessions with the other rabble! “Also,” she mentioned, “that Edible Arrangement at the bottom of the fridge is for you!” JACKPOT! Read More…